I was eight years old (1968) and watching TV with my family. Suddenly, the room turned red, then black and I could no longer see anything. It wasn't frightening or disturbing. I then had the sense that I was high up in the heavens ...suspended just above the earth. A person was with me and had His arm about my shoulder. I was not disturbed or frightened by the experience because of His presence. I knew it was Jesus.
We began ever so slowly to spiral down towards the earth. As we did so, after a while, I heard the noise of a crowd far below us. A great multitude of people were below us and you could hear a few of them speaking as if surprised and excited to see something strange in the sky. I knew they were referring to Christ as He descended but they had not recognized who or what He was.
As we drew even closer, the curious tone of the crowd turned to rising surprise. The number of voices speaking below us increased as did the tone of astonishment in their voices. They were intrigued, startled and puzzled but unafraid.
Then as we drew closer still the cries turned to shock and confusion. There was uncertainty .. a hint of fear could be heard in the voices. this soon turned to wails and then screams of pure abject terror, just as I knew we were about to set foot on the earth.
Then I would "awake." I never said anything about this to my family but it happened at least two more times in exactly the same manner before I turned twelve. At the age of twelve, the Lord told me what I was called to. All my life, I have had the sense that a time of great trouble would come in my latter years and that I was to help save others. I am afraid of what will come and wish it were not a possibility, but I think it is more than that ... I believe it will come to pass.
I hear a lot of Christians boasting about having an "end-time" calling. It is terrible and frightening. I think many have no real idea what it will entail.
I began hearing from the Lord at the age of five, though I heard no voice nor ever saw his image. It was not until I was nine that I even understood it was Him. I could not tell my own voice and thoughts and feelings from Him nor did I understand He was at work or what His purpose was. At the age of nine, I understood God had directed many of my thoughts and experiences and had always been there with me. It was at that point that I became so grateful and knew I could rely on Him. At the age of twelve I fully understood that it was not just "the Lord", but Jesus who had been with me. Over the coming years I learned His voice and some of His ways and saw more and more that without Christ I could never truly know God. Jesus is the revelation of who God is for man. Jesus said, "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father". It is true.
The desire to see angels, have dreams and visions and to experience profound spiritual revelations are all a symptom of our innate hunger to see God, to know that He is Immanuel...that "He is" and that "He is with us". To find these things separately from Christ is a great tragedy. The supernatural is like a drug .. it shatters the "normal" world and rushes in strange new feeling and emotion. When we are not close to Christ, we can be seduced or entranced by such experiences. Like myself as a child, we may not even be able to tell the difference at time between what is "us", what is God and what comes from the enemy .. and there is an enemy and he is supernatural.
Taking hold of a supernatural experience or revelation is like grabbing a high voltage electrical line. To plug it into your thinking and life is potentially dangerous. With Christ, the supernatural "voltage" is controlled by Him, regulated and you are insulated. He tells you when to touch and when not to. When to connect and when to disconnect .. He is in control. When we "manage" the supernatural ourselves it distorts our discernment, thought, understanding and perception. If we do not heed the warning at such times from the holy spirit, we risk entering a dark place where we can stumble into things that can seriously affect us in a negative way .. no matter how "in control" we think we are. It is a delusion and it can take root in our soul if we are not yielded to Christ.
The world has two ways of handling the supernatural: One way is to deny it's existence or ridicule it as human delusion. The other way is to pursue and practice it without question thinking it is subject to our control. Both of these things lead to spiritual deception. Atheists who deny the supernatural, Christians who deny the power of God or non-believers who think they can control or access God with their "powers". As Christians, we have no power .. only Christ.
I reached a point in my life where the supernatural world was undeniably real. At the same time I realized that I could never really understand or control it. I told the Lord at that moment that I never wanted to have another supernatural experience ever again for the rest of my life, I just wanted to know Jesus. He replied to me, "Too bad. I'm a supernatural God and I do supernatural things. You don't have a choice, get used to it." That statement shook me at the time .. though I can laugh at it now .. for the irony of how true it is.
You may read that and think God could not be so callous or harsh but in fact He was telling me the truth and letting me know there was a cost. Just like a recovering alcoholic leaving a treatment program is told "you will be a recovering alcoholic for the rest of your life" so God was letting me know that I would have to live with the struggle of this all my life. Ironically, having seen the hard side of spiritual things I do not desire them. I believe the Lord would have it that way. I can still be enthralled by a spiritual encounter .. that is the natural effect of them -- but I have experience to caution me and reinforce conviction from God when I stray too far into it. I fear for those who think the supernatural is a wonderful present to be grasped firmly and wielded at will. "A joyride from God and fun and wonderful." It can be wonderful when it is the Lord, but if it is part of your calling .. your service to Christ .. it is a terrible responsibility to live continuously with it.
God spends a lifetime with people called to this. They go through years of failures and hurts and struggles and temptations to teach them humility and dependence on the Lord and most .. Like Moses .. when they come through their trials, respond as he did and say, "Lord, send someone else." They have a fear of erring and misrepresenting God, of jeopardizing their relationship with Him and misleading others. They have a sobering awareness of how easily they can be used for good or evil.
I am appalled at those who casually boast of their spiritual experiences .. those who wave them like a banner and say "Listen to me! I'm special! .. I'm a prophet!" Such is a sign of .. at best .. immaturity and at worse a warning sign of a person about to implode into their own spiritual delusion.
The apostle, Paul (please don't quibble over the honorific .. Christ did call him personally) had to confront selfish men who were leading people into spiritual error and using boastful claims of revelations and angelic encounters to establish there credibility as leaders "greater than Paul". To counter this, he shared some of his own spiritual experience. He prefaced it with, "Now I must boast as one gone mad."
Paul had no desire to cater to the appetite that wanted a "big supernatural experience" and in fact he concluded by boasting in his own weaknesses. Paul, the "chiefest of sinners", knew that his experiences made nothing of him. He shared them to warn people not to pursue such things over Christ. To keep their affections on Jesus. In Hebrews, chapter six, there is an admonition to "Go on to maturity". Some of the things we are admonished to go on from are supernatural wonders. The bible considers these some of the least mature evidences of faith. When Jesus sent out the seventy to heal and testify, they came back excited that "even the demons" were subject to their authority. Christ Himself cautioned them and told them not to rejoice in such things but only in that their names were written in heaven.
So in like manner, we must sometimes share our own experiences .. they are part of our testimony. But for those called often to share such things, humility is the only sign of authority with them. To preach and know nothing but Christ and Him crucified.
